A Little Village of Advice: What I’m Learning as a New Mom

A few weeks into life with Ancia, I am beginning to understand why people tell you that nothing really prepares you for becoming a parent.

You can prepare the nursery. You can buy the things. You can read the books, make plans, organize your schedule, and try to imagine what those first few weeks will look like.

And then this tiny person arrives and life reorganizes itself around her.

So far, Ancia has been doing wonderfully. She is growing well, eating like a champ, sleeping better than I probably have any right to expect, and starting to show us more of her personality every day.

This week we even reached the very important milestone of getting her passport photos taken. She may not know where she is going yet, but apparently she is now ready to travel.

For me, the adjustment has been a little more complicated.

Learning a new rhythm

I love my work, and running Cultivate + Evolve has always been a very big part of my life.

That did not suddenly disappear when I became a mom.

What has changed is the rhythm.

Calls happen around feeds. Work gets done in different pockets of the day. Some plans survive contact with a newborn and some absolutely do not.

I am still involved with my clients, files, renewals, and the business, but I am also learning that being present does not have to mean doing everything exactly the way I did before.

That has probably been one of the biggest adjustments for me.

There is a temptation, especially when you run your own business, to feel as though everything needs your attention immediately.

A newborn is very good at challenging that theory.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful team around me, colleagues I trust, and family who have been there to help.

My parents deserve a particular thank-you. They have been loving, generous, incredibly helpful and, in the way only parents can manage, occasionally just a little too helpful.

I am very grateful to have them close.

Asking for advice

One of the nicest surprises of these first few weeks has been the response to our New Mom Friday posts.

I originally asked for advice because I genuinely wanted it.

And people delivered.

There have been practical suggestions, funny stories, reassurances, things to try, things not to worry about, and lots of reminders that there is no single correct way to do this.

A few pieces of advice have stayed with me particularly strongly.

Elena Sarasom encouraged me not to rush Ancia toward independence.

Her advice was to hold her, cuddle her, nap with her, and enjoy that physical closeness while it lasts. Rather than feeling pressure to put the baby down so I can get everything else done, let the people offering to help take care of some of those other things.

There is something very freeing about that.

The laundry will still exist tomorrow. She will not always be this tiny.

Laura Hinton gave me perhaps the simplest advice:

Give yourself grace.

And soak up the newborn moments because they disappear so quickly.

That one has become an important reminder, especially on days when I feel like I should be accomplishing more.

Sometimes being exactly where I am is enough.

And Brittany Murray reminded me to find things that Ancia and I can enjoy together.

Get out of the house. Try something like baby yoga. Create little experiences even if she will never consciously remember them. Do not worry too much about creating the perfect schedule yet.

And, most importantly, enjoy the cuddles.

I really love that idea.

She may not remember our first fall walks, the places we visit together, or the little adventures we have over the coming months.

But I will.

The common thread

When I look at those three pieces of advice together, there is a pretty clear message:

Slow down. Stay close. Accept help. Give yourself some grace.

For someone who spends a lot of her professional life helping people plan ahead, organize their finances, prepare for changes, and think strategically, there is a little irony in learning that this particular part of life cannot be completely planned.

You can prepare.

You can build a good support system.

You can make thoughtful decisions.

But you also have to leave room for life to unfold.

That lesson probably extends well beyond motherhood.

Major changes rarely happen exactly according to plan. Buying a home, changing careers, growing a family, moving, retiring, restructuring your finances or simply entering a new season of life all require some combination of preparation and adaptability.

The plan matters.

So does knowing when to adjust it.

Giving a little back

The response to this little New Mom project has been much bigger and more thoughtful than I expected.

So, rather than choosing one piece of advice as a winner, Cultivate + Evolve Financial will be making a $150 donation to Mama’s For Mama’s in honour of everyone who has taken the time to share some wisdom, encouragement, and experience with me.

It feels like the right way to pay some of that kindness forward.

And I am definitely not done asking for advice.

If there is something you wish someone had told you during those first few weeks or months of parenthood, I would still love to hear it.

I have a feeling Ancia and I have plenty left to learn.

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